“Oh this is new” I thought to myself as my daughter sits up screaming about invisible bugs at 2AM. Kid nightmares are the worst!
Right around the age of two the ability for little brains to start processing the daily happenings of life start to manifest themselves into dreams, or in some cases nightmares. This should make sense too many of you because you have undoubtedly started to see a lot changes in their ability to communicate more clearly. By the time our kids our sprinting through the age of two you have probably also started to witness other communication skills as well. These are all laying the foundation for what their unconscious mind is showing them.
Imagination
Your kids newly formed imagination is one of the most fun things to watch. They start to play with their toys different. Everything starts to get a voice and what was once a ratty old toy is now the friendly monster next door. The imagination of a child rivals only that of Walt Disney himself. Thankfully kids brains are wired for positivity and the number of dreams heavily out weighs the kid nightmares.
The Stuff Dreams are Made of
It is between the ages of two and four that kids really start having dreams. The closer they are to four the more likely they are to remember the dreams and be able to process the different emotions that come from dreams verse their waking hours. A little closer look at dreams would also tell us that most dreams occur in the second half of sleep when we are in our deepest layer of sleep. This is know as REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. It is when we are the most relaxed and our brain is doing all the work.
Dreams are an interesting part of the human brain which still isn’t completely understood. We know that we have them and we know that they often times don’t make any sense. We also know there are many external factors influencing our dreams but our control of them is limited. One thing to keep in mind is how much everyday stress can be a factor in our dreams. Although they may seem small and trivial to us, what our toddlers are seeing as stress may start infiltrating its way into the dreams taking place in that race car bed.
Good Days = Good Dreams
We can all probably think of a time when we had a dream that was less than desirable. We can probably also think of time when we had quite the opposite. I would be willing to bet when you had that dream about throwing the winning touchdown, or the cheerleaders that came along with it, you had also had a pretty good day prior to that night of sleep. The same is true for our little ones. The better the day, the more likely they are to avoid those unwanted “Bugs”.
Keeping the nightmares out of our kids rooms
Routine
For starters we can talk about routine. I’m sure I am not the first one to tell you that getting your kid on a routine from a super young age has all kinds of benefits. One of the perks being the avoidance of nightmares. Getting the mind prepared for sleep by having a bedtime routine can be key. It’s like Pavlov’s dogs, once a routine is set and used every night the muscle memory will start putting our kids to bed before we even get to story time. This preparation should work better and better as time goes on. Eventually your kid won’t even need that bedtime story to fall asleep. Not that we would let them skip the extra time with us!A Bed is Not a Play Place
This one can be hard to remember sometimes for us parents. Our kids like to play in their rooms and we like to rough house when we play. So inevitably there will be a WWE smackdown that ends on the bed. The problem is the more time we spend playing in the same place we want our kids to sleep the more they will start associating it with the wrong activities. The best thing we can do is keep the sleep spot as a place of rest. Leave the playing in another room.Nightlights
Nightlights are often effective and depending on what your kiddo is into I’m sure you can find a good one to help keep positivity in the room. I recently heard a story from another dad about his run in with the Nest smoke detector and night light. He never thought he would spend money on it until his wife made the purchase. Then one night he heard his young daughter come back from a late night potty visit. As she successfully made it back to her room by way of the motion sensing nightlight, she whispered “Thank you Nest”. From that day forward he was Nest guy and his daughter had her nightlight as well.Scary TV
Avoidance of scary TV shows is a must but even more so right before bed. It seems these days the shows on TV are getting increasingly more violent and “dead” themed. Although these shows may be at the top of your list for viewing pleasure they probably are not the best imagery to send the little ones off to bed. Scary TV is one thing but to take it one step further it might be beneficial to watch or listen something more relaxing before bedtime.Check In
Check in consistently. It can be hard to make the transition to sleeping alone in a room comfortably after have a nightmare. You can help move this process along by setting a routine of checking in every 5-10 minutes and reassuring your little one that you are always right outside the door if they need you. Doing this a few times before they fall asleep can reduce the anxiety they are feeling before falling asleep and therefore reducing the chance of another nightmare.
The moral of the story is this, you know your kids better than anyone. In many cases you know your kids better than they even know themselves. So if there is something that works for them and you, do that thing. For some of you this may be a more hands-off approach. For others this may be a Nerf gun turned “Night Security Weapon”. Either way, find the thing that works for you and your kid and stick with it. This is just a phase and like all others that came before this one, this too shall pass.
Cheers!