As I am sure you know by now, there are many things that take a back seat when it comes to what you want. One of the biggest disappearing acts of parenthood is time. So with such a lack of time in your new found role as dad, how do you find time to also be a husband? Let’s chat about microdating.
What is Microdating?
Microdates are exactly what they sound like. They are short dates that take place between the chaos moments of being a parent. Sometimes these are while the baby is sleeping. Sometimes this is during a car ride when your toddler finally stops singing “Into the Unknown” at the top of her lungs! The point is that these microdates can happen anywhere, anytime and for any length of time. They are just a fun quick way to do a check in with the other parent in the relationship and maybe remember the old days when dates would last hours.
What do we do?
Microdating is kind of like “Who’s Line is it Anyway” the time is made up and rules don’t matter. There is no right way to do it but here are the things we have done in my parenting life. See if any of these might work for you:
Have a glass of wine!
It took until becoming a dad to start to enjoy wine. Well that and a couple of coworkers who had great rules about scheduling meetings on Friday afternoons. Crack open a bottle and pour each other a glass. Even if you just chat about how the day went at least you set aside time for just the two of you. You may only get one glass before the baby starts fussing again but you’ll be one drink in, so there’s that.
Play a game
If you are at home and have access to more space and materials you can always play all sorts of games. In the car gets to be a little more difficult. We would listen to the Disney classics as long as it took to get the little one to pass out (gotta love car rides), then pull out the trivia. It is amazing the number of trivia questions you can find on any topic you can imagine. There are also fun versions of “would you rather”. Ultimately all of these games tended to lead to a bigger conversation about something totally irrelevant, but it was nice to take our minds off being a parent for a few minutes.
Be a Kid for a Minute
If you have read some of my other other articles you are probably aware of the massive Disney fans I have in my house. You have probably also noticed one of my biggest tips on going to Disney is to bring someone else with you to watch the kids. This leads me to the next microdating option, go hit the big kid rides.
One of the best parts about taking someone with you to Disney is the ability to give them an opportunity to see Disney through your kids eyes. Grandpa and Grandma love the chance to watch as your little one enjoys the little kid rides and shows. And we love to take a few minutes to go be mom and dad while riding an adult ride and grabbing one of the plentiful drinks.
Disney+ and Snacks
One of the hardest parts about having kids in the house is that you often lose out on watching the shows you want. However for the brief time the kids are sleeping and you aren’t, you can find a show or three that can become new favorites. My wife and I go back and forth on picking what the new show will be every time we finish a series. We have found some great ones over the past few months. Be open to new shows. You never know what you might find interesting. Plus, if you wait for the kids to go to bed you don’t have to share your snacks. This is when the top shelf goodies come out. (Rumor has it Dunkaroos are coming back soon!)
Rise and Shine
In our house we realized that our time together as parents has lead to a time shift. It seems the only time we can have a minute with just the two of us anymore is when we get up early. Slow but surely we got to a point where we now wake up around 4 and get the coffee going. These early morning dates have turned out to be a great way to start the day. Sometimes they are just coffee and sitting together talking about life. Other times this includes a morning workout.
Together Toughness
Lately my wife has talked me into trying yoga. Well she does yoga. I do what feels like the same thing but it certainly does not look the same. Other times we head to the garage gym and through some weights around so I don’t feel completely inadequate in the fitness world. Again the point here to do something together. Sometimes we get out of our comfort zone and try yoga and other times we play catch in the yard. But getting a little exercise in can be a great way to do a little microdating.
The take away here is maybe your microdating night is really a microdating morning. Maybe it is sitting and doing nothing and maybe it is getting stuck in yoga position you can’t pronounce. Whenever the quiet time is possible, take advantage. Spend some time taking car of the husband and wife part of the relationship and let the mom and dad side take a break. You never know what you might find out about your spouse. You may even learn something about yourself.
Cheers!